Update.

I haven't blogged in quite awhile! Life has been a little hectic lately that is for sure. I had my surgery on July 23rd. It went really well and i feel like i am finally healed up and ready to go. I can't wait to get back into the swing of things. Honestly the thing i miss most is walking. I see two of my neighbors every night on their walk and i get so jealous! It seems pretty silly that i would get jealous over that, considering how i have been the past 4 or 5 years. Exercise hasn't really been my cup of tea for awhile. I think a little while after i was diagnosed with Fibromyalsia i just started slowly giving up. It's a little depressing to be sitting her today, looking at my life, and realizing that i gave up on myself. I have had so many ups and downs but survived none the less. I think what i'm starting to realize now is that i want to start building myself up. It's becoming more and more apparent to me just how much i left undone. I want to really finish up a lot of things. Dot my T's and cross my I's i guess in a sense. Maybe go to college or start some school. Start examining my life and weeding out all the negativity. I want to deep clean and get rid of all the junk i seem to hold on to. It kind of goes along with the way i am finally letting go of all the things i held inside for the longest time. I feel a lot of freedom now especially emotionally. I'm hoping that my next step to feeling free is in my physical state. I can't even begin to tell you how tired i am of feeling the way i do. I am in pain from the time i wake up to when i go to bed. I am 21 years old and i don't know what happened. This is definitely not what i want for myself. The thing that sticks out most to me is that i want to be able to be a mother. I don't want to be moaning and groaning all the time. So i really want to start doing more! Hopefully things start looking up! I also need to keep up with my blog. It really does help to be able to vent ... obviously ^^^^ ha ha ha.