Thursday.

Having a really hard time tonight. Yesterday on our way home i screwed up my shoulder/arm. More specificly a muscle that both areas use. What was i doing? Putting curly fries in Luna's cup holder of her car seat. I've been trying to figure out why the hell something so simple would hurt this bad. I know its the way i bent my arm around then twisted because once i twisted a pain shot up my arm. But the more i think about it i realize that my shoulders pop and grind a lot from my seizures. So maybe it was just a matter of time before something like this happened. I don't know. I just wish all this crap would have happened before i started working again. What a nightmare and how embarassing! I had to call in sick twice last week because the flu hit our house. Then had to leave work tonight after being there for only an hour and a half. I have the worst pain and my fingers keep going numb. Plus of course it had to be my right arm. Why can't i be left handed?? Sheesh. I am just so stressed and worried that i will lose my job. It seems like one thing after another and i really need to work. I love my job and really hope nothing happens. I would be pretty heartbroken. I know that would add so much stress to Bry too. I honestly just want to crawl into a hole and never come out. I am super upset and hurting so bad. Last night i worked after it had happened. I figured because it wasn't hurting too bad that i could just work through it. I wasn't able to sleep on that side of my body but i was able to use my arm without too much pain. I worked right through it and didn't have a problem until i woke up this morning from my "nap" after work. Now no matter what i do or take for it i can't get it to stop hurting. I cry and cry and cry then just sit there feeling stupid. I am really praying this little SOB muscle that's giving me a hard time will take a hint and get with the program. I am a mom, wife, and person who needs to work and do stuff! Here's to positivity and trying my hardest to work through it! I told you body that i won't let you get the best of me this winter. You should also take a freaking hint. :P