Memories

One thing i didn't want to add to the last post was about memories. This is a subject i could talk about for the longest time. Every memory i have means so much to me. Even the smallest and most meaningless of them all. After i had been having my seizures for quite awhile i had one to make the others seem like a cake walk. The seizure itself wasn't too bad i suppose but the aftermath was indescribable. I'd done the usual routine but afterwards i lost consciousness. What i woke up to was......as i said indescribable. It is something i would never wish upon anyone. I woke up to nothing. Absolutely nothing. I had no memory of anything. It's called Disassociative Amnesia. To put it simply my brain had decided there was too much going on and shut off. I didn't know my name, birthday, or anything. Bry then called an ambulance and took me to the hospital. When we arrived there they didn't do much other than make sure i had no brain damage and treat the pain. They released me and we went home after that. I've never felt so numb in my entire life. It had to be one of the most intense experiences I've ever gone through. Thinking about it even now gives me the chills. It took over two months or so for everything to finally come back. But during that two months it wasn't exactly easy. The only way i could remember things was if my brain "allowed" me to. Or i guess you could say if it was safe to remember. I think the craziest part was how i would remember things. It was almost like I was looking through a photo album for each memory. I'd see the photos in my head. It was so hard to just wait for things. My counselor told me that pushing it might make it harder or worse. So I got to just wait in limbo. At the time this all happened, I was actually in the process of planning my wedding as well. What exactly do you do after that? Hi i don't know anyone or myself but let's get married! I think the best part was there was something about Bry that felt familiar. The only way to describe it is that my heart knew him but my brain didn't. Kind of a crazy feeling but you know its a real one when you're in a situation like that. I think that was another moment that defined us as a couple. I'll never forget that. So after that two months even though i hadn't fully recovered i knew that he was my husband and it was okay. No matter what it would be okay. So i decided to just trust him and take a leap ! (: