Reality Whiplash

I think sometimes it takes a hell of a lot to bring someone back to reality. For me it always takes a lot. A slap in the face or a knife in the back doesn't always get the job done. Even though things were a mess there is always hope for change. There is always healing on the horizon. I hope especially for my daughter's sake that the road that has become forked into two will become one again. Anything that is meant to be a team effort can never be operated on separate agendas. You must rely on each other and work together in order to make things work. If it were easy it wouldn't be worth it. I tell myself this all the time but i'm not sure why i decide to give up so easily. I know that when things are good they are really good. It only takes a little effort. If you aren't even trying to put in the effort anymore then of course you won't be happy.

So the moral of this whole paragraph of nonsense that only makes sense to me is this; don't give up. Never lose sight of the things you really want in life. Don't let people decide to inject themselves into your relationship. Most of all, never seek out your own selfish desires. They are always empty, hollow, and nothing but ash. When you are done with them they leave you without anything or anyone and a gaping hole where you heart used to be. These desires are nothing but deceiving and misleading.

Luckily i was right when i said i am the luckiest girl alive. I married one of the most amazing men you can find. I am thrilled to say he loves me too. More than i deserve actually. I have decided that i made promises and I intend to keep them. When i said forever i meant it and i need to keep it. Marriage is such hard work but like i said if it were easy it wouldn't be worth it.

I just know that i need to pull my head out of the sand and get with the program. I can't keep wallowing around and feeling bad. Life is passing me by and i can never get the time back. From here on out i promise to myself, Bry, and Luna i will try my hardest. I will give it everything i have and i hope that it's enough. I guess we'll see.

To be continued.......