January Fourteenth.

Today wasn't so bad. Things looked up a little. I woke up and we had run out of propane because the heater never stopped due to the crazy low temperatures. It was FREEZING! We've been sharing our room with Luna so that we could share the space heater. Well last night i put her in her room for the first time in a long time. So imagine my surprise when i wake up with the door wide open (so the heat from the wood burning stove could come in) and it's freezing cold because there is no propane or space heater. I honestly thought i might shatter into a millon pieces. Not to mention our space heater acts like it's on it's last leg. I swear "when it rains it pours" or in my case it floods. Again i'm sorry for the overly negative post. That's just how i am now days. So i'm sorry if it's a little too much.

So after all the chaos of waking up at 8:30 to a freezing room, Luna screaming, moving her and the heater into our room, and both of us coughing/sniffling like crazy; We cuddled up in our bed and tried to stay warm. We turned on the Lorax for the 10th time and eventually fell back asleep. Around 12:30ish we woke up and groaned because we both felt like crap. I thought we'd both manage to dodge the sick train everyone in our house and family had a VIP ticket to. Apparently not ha ha! It may sound bad but at least we both got it at the same time so we can cuddle in bed together. More than anything i feel so bad for Luna bean. She's never had a cough at least not this bad. It honestly scares me too. Gah the life of a mommy.

For the past few weeks despite being severly medicated because of my health problems i can't sleep. Every night it's the same thing. I sit here and watch tv, surf the internet, and overthink every aspect of my life. I feel so lost. It's weird i feel like things are going so good for us. Then there are moments i just feel like nothing makes sense. How does that even happen? And what's the point? Life can be so cruel sometimes.

I really wish things could just work out for once without falling apart. Maybe for once it wouldn't flood.